My Summer Vacation

Dear Journal/Internet,

It's somewhat hard for me to describe what I was thinking or expecting before my Birthright trip, not so much because those feelings have been obscured by the actual experience but because I think it wasn't until I was on the trip itself that it took any kind of precedence in my mind. Birthright always seemed like something that I would eventually do, perhaps most of all because I could; I guess in that sense it's fair to say that my mind-set was most accurately of the "free trip" variety, even if I didn't exactly think of it that way because, as I said, I didn't really think of it all.

I can say more definitively that I did not expect any special connection to Judaism or Israel. I've always identified as a Jew, sometimes strongly, even as I drifted away from the religious beliefs and, to a lesser extent, the religious practice over time. That said, I did not feel any great desire for aliyah or any real bond to Israel beyond a sort of habitual defense of it in conversation.

I think the trip for me was less about being a Jew and more about being an adult. That attitude first began to crystallize when I had to write an essay for my application about why I wanted to go. I did not want to lie by attaching some false significance to the trip. I didn't spend much time on the answer I did end up submitting, but I think I hit on something. I'm past the point of that feeling just after college when everything is unsettled, every path is open — there's an excitement in not knowing where life will take you. It's scary, sure, but you have license to dream, and the imagining is better, I think, than the experiences that ensue. I haven't had that feeling for a few years now. My life feels set and, worse, stagnant. I don't know if I'll ever leave this job. I don't know if I'll ever leave this city. Those things are possible, but I'm not actively thinking about them, and the actively thinking part is what makes them real, so they're not real, I suppose. That was a run-on by intention; I'm having a hard time articulating this thought, so perhaps it illustrates the kind of confusion I have in putting this all to words. What it boils down to, I guess, is adulthood, which seems to me partly about self-sufficiency and partly about the end taking precedence over the means, as grim as that may sound.

Anyway, this trip represented a kind of return to adolescence, both literally (structurally, it's essentially a summer camp on wheels) and metaphorically (it offers an opportunity to change and learn and grow as was offered in an academic setting but is not especially available in a work setting — the scary thing is, I think I needed the permission to grow more than I needed the encouragement).

By writing that, and saying that on the trip when we shared our goals with one another, I took that view on even more. It became concrete: this is what you're doing here.

BK vs. The World: Years for Music

Power rankings of the years from 1956 to 1986, ordered from last to first, in terms of the music released (or generally going on) in each year:

1958
Important album releases to consider: Milestones (Miles Davis), The Atomic Mr. Basie (Count Basie).

1974
Important album releases to consider: Up for the Down Stroke (Parliament), Rush (Rush), Open Our Eyes (Earth, Wind and Fire), Too Much Too Soon (New York Dolls), Small Talk (Sly & the Family Stone), Roots Reggae (Toots & the Maytals), Natty Dread (Bob Marley & the Wailers), Sheer Heart Attack (Queen), Caribou (Elton John).
Neil Peart joins Rush. Cock Sparrer, the Ramones and Blondie form.

1960
Important album releases to consider: Sketches of Spain (Miles Davis), Giant Steps (John Coltrane), Save the Last Dance for Me (The Drifters), The Genius Hits the Road (Ray Charles).
The Beatles form.

1962
Important album releases to consider: The Bridge (Sonny Rollins), Sherry & 11 Others (The Four Seasons), Surfin' Safari (The Beach Boys), Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan), Lena ... Lovely and Alive (Lena Horne).
The Rolling Stones and the Trashmen form.

1961
Important album releases to consider: The Great Kai & J.J. (Kai Winding and J.J. Johnson), My Favorite Things (John Coltrane), Tonight's the Night (The Shirelles), Runaway (Del Shannon), At Last! (Etta James), Sunday at the Village Vanguard (The Bill Evans Trio).
The Beach Boys form.